Hey everybody!  Did y’all miss me? I sure missed you.  I had a busy weekend, but a very good one.  We played a show on the lake Saturday night, called Buffalo Creek Grill, over in the small town of Prosperity, SC.  It was H-O-T!!  I did everything a good girl should do to stay hydrated, and I still almost passed out from the heat.   We played under a tent cover, but the sun was still catching me from the back.  However, all this was absolutely, totally worth it.  We ended up with an awesome crowd, which is always a critical part of actually enjoying the show.  There’s nothing worse than dragging your butt and equipment to a place, spend two hours setting it up, then pour sweat for 4 hours, singing and playing your heart out…and….. (crickets chirp).  Years ago, I recall when I was a keyboard player and background vocalist for Mama’s Home Cookin’.  We played a gig in Hilton Head at one of those high falootin’ establishments.   Those were the gigs I’d joke that I needed to wash all the snob off of me afterwards, lol!  Well, we were a 9 piece band, with a horn section.  We drove to Hilton Head, about 4 hours, setup, and play, and they start coming up to us saying, “Can you turn down?  We’re trying to talk.”  Okay….then why would you hire a NINE piece BAND to play for your event, if you wanted to talk?!!!!!!  Just sayin’.
Well, back then, I was a much different girl.  I was a complete pushover.  I weighed more back then.  I had no cool clothes.  I wanted them badly, but never made it a priority.  I knew I had so much to give, if given the chance.  But, I always let my circumstances decide what I did.  It determined where I work, what band to play in, what church to attend.  Even worse,  I had to be right.  And when I was right on something huge, I threw a huge fit too.  I had to correct others if they used the wrong word, or if I knew something they didn’t.  I’m certainly not proud of it.  And I’ve had to endure a lot of situations where I found out I was right, but that’s no excuse to lose control of my emotions…even if they’re valid.   The sad thing is, it wasn’t because I thought I was better.  I just wanted acceptance.  Well, I wasn’t pretty.  I wasn’t popular.  And I wasn’t rich.  My brain and tender heart was all I had to offer.  So, I thought if people could figure out I was smart…they might give liking me a try.  But, please remember two things:  1) Being right all the time is over rated.   2) People won’t aways remember what you said…but they will always remember how you made them feel.  If someone is trying to pay you a compliment, please don’t correct them.  WHY would you break someone’s heart whose trying to offer you theirs, on a mere technicality?  Is it worth it?  Do you feel better?  Or they a better person for your eloquent correction?  I bet not.  You’re “right” and they’re devistated, and for what?  Ok, rant over.
We need to be as careful with choosing our word to those we love, as we are in choosing those we love in the first place.   However, this is a grueling process.  I know.  I’m living proof.  Still have so far to go. 
But, I too have made strides.  I’m not the same person I once was.  I weigh my words and thoughts first.  I consider if I’m saying something just to be right, or plain mean, or just to make them hurt like I do.  I go somewhere else and get my crap in one sock,  if I can’t stop crying.  I walk or exercise if I’m angry.  I try my darndest to do something productive while I check myself.  I am certain I’ve lost much innocence along the way, that I can never have again.  It pains me a little.  But, to know I’m overall, a better woman than I was before… is something no family, friend, boss, or anyone can take from me.  We cannot look to others to validate us, when they don’t even see the true value in us to begin with.  Don’t waste your efforts convincing a lover, that you are worthy.  Go find someone who already sees your worth.  Don’t spend your career trying to impress a boss, who doesn’t want to make a difference in your life.  Find a place where you can thrive and go there.  Be pliable and dependable, not a door mat.
Man, it feels good to be standing up :).

Alabama Shakes has a song called, “I Ain’t the Same”.  It’s my mantra, for sure.  And it’s the kind of song that doesn’t sound like anything else out there.  There’s a lot of R&B in the vibe of it, and yet, with all the drive and push of a rock tune.  You really should give it a listen. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.  You might even find the nerve to make a change :D. Take care, my friends.  We’ll talk again soon. 
Love to all.